2007

2007 has been a whirlwind of drama, events, happiness, sadness, matuarity, travel, friendship lost and gain all blend into one.. weird as it might sound hahahahaha i enjoyed 2007.. its the complication of things and the whole process of getting thru this year that makes it extreamly speacial in many ways than one. the journey that i took with that one footstep into the dark room just seems logical as it is that women needs more than 20 pairs of shoes. im not gonna try to be smart of be all deep in this manner but then i guess i would try to sum things up for the year since i finally have some time..well lets see

career

wow this is one hell of a roller coaster ride that i never imagined being on board, i have always dream but in the true fashion of living it no. one could only halfly remotely imagine it.. i guess i have come along way since Teman. from celebriteen to having a talk show of my own and now slowly but surely being recognized not because of looks(plz thats hard to imagine) and just sheer talent i am now here and standing. with help from many people who believed in me and never once told me to give up. but above all i cannot and will not ignore the fact that HE has been hearing my prayers. thank you..

friendship

i once read some where "many come and go and yet those who linger in our hearts are those worth cheerishing.." 2007 brought along witrh it many beautiful souls into my life..without me realizing it they have one way or the other influence my life and choices and made me into a better person perfect i dare not claim but a better person from who i was and might have been. thank you all.

travels

i cannot believe the amount of traveling i have done this year. seeing, touching, feeling and immersing myself within the bounderies and the suroundings and being there with people that i care for and both thus care for me.. i learned alot... thank you

love

this year i found love.. not one but its many forms.. it taught me so much more than what i could imagine i am capable of accepting.. it opened up my eyes and i cheerish it.. thank you

but above all i would have to thank Him for if not He who bestow upon me all this i would not be the person that i am now thank you.. and of course to all of you who has made my 2007 special i once again say cheers and may 2008 bring more to us ... baki zainal signing off and i love you.

merry chirstmas

ice cream in winter
it is freezing cold, who's idea was this
mama and me on top of the world

ok, its been e real roller coster ride for me this couple of days.. my room mate jingx tied the knot hahaha which means among the boys i am the only one left on the hook hahahaha am i rushing i dont know infact i dont even want to think about it yet.. why? well simple as it that i guess that aint my focus yet.. hummm its been really hectic and i took a weeks break and just lazed and hanged and pigged out in jb and let loose ok no not how i really wanted too but yeah i just but a stand still and hold on the other stuff speacially when it came to work.. and i guess its really hard for me now to want to pick things up again and continue what i have left behind recently.. have many things installed for the upcoming year and many wonderful plans that i would want to make come true but at this present time and moment i could just pray and wish that it would happen soon not later hahahaha
its coming to the end for 2007... recalling it started with some bumpy notes.. well i am gonna leave the summing up of the year later since there are still a couple of days to go... till then im baki zainal signing off..

THE "WAY"
He is heavenly protected

i just came off hosting an event that is some out a disaster but ended on a high note... i guess many of us are allowed one or two of that once and a while.. doing what im doing currently and seeing the results kinda firms it up that i do enjoy what i am doing currently and see no reasons to change it yet.. infact i feel that there is no other way than just to climb up of course with HIS help... he has been there for me and i thank you... man i need to go to the gym... auditions are just a couple of days away. i am soon gonna start adding on things that i have written and all that i have compiled.. maybe one day a book. who knows? but for now i shall just share it with u.

im back

Man, who says thai guys are small?
morning in berinchang
ahoy!! me captain..

ok.. i know i know i have sinned for not even taking the consideration or even the initiative of writing anything in here...honestly besides not having the time to be honest i didnt have the need or urge... is it becoz i am more happy with meself and life or is it becoz i am just fazed out by the idea of bitching to an empty page who would not talk back? oh please talking bout no feedback we humans are soo much more advanced and clever in that field arent we i should know hahahaha..
i guess it would have to be that i have learned to take things to stride... spend time and effort on towards things and people that matters and not drain myself towards negetive fields and bodies...im really supprise to upon taking such steps and commitment..hahahaha.. evident enough by the 3 pictures above that potrays the simple and short timescape of a short visit of baki zainal's life..i shall be versitile.. i shall shine and i shall out beat .. look out world...

Crash...

man oh man ... this week has been a very bad week.. first i kinda lost a job ... then i lost a parking ticket which i then found again in the car... and tonite kinda topped the cherry on the surface.. i met up with an accident.. yes, i crashed into another car...ok, 1st of all i would have to say that its not really my fault as 1. i was not on the phone
2i was not speeding,
3, i was focused
what happened was that 3 cars infront of me went on emergency break as they were coming down a slop and i was right behind the last car. then after breaking the car slided down the slop and yes i bangged the car infront of me.. only that the car infront of me was not damaged as he only has like a few calar here but the car that i was driving which was abg ein's car kinda really am in bad condition as half of the front part was just smashed into half.. yes.. that was how it was..
Far and clyde came to my rescue before mama and kak anja arrived and they saw me thru the whole making of the police report and then to the workshop and all.. thanks guys . and so now i kinda like wondering is it a signal from Him did i do something wrong which i think i did... but what ever it is i am going to take it as a warning from Him that i should not just take His gifts for granted and be thankful and show Him my gratitude.. ok guys thats enough for tonight i need to calm myself i shall see you all soon. thanks ya.

odd feel

ok i dont know why am i feeling this way or like why even so am i doing this... today i got some bad news bot some stuff relating to celebriteens.. now i know i should not be fazed about it but yeah it kinda got me into thinking if that moment is actually arriving and if that its means that i used up my time... humm ok that sounds odd and confusing.. anyways recently it has kinda sorta been a slow month for me.. yes i know both geetha and diana are doing their exstream level best to get me out there... ohh by the way im now officially a celebrity fitness member thanks to Geet hurray and i have been going to the gym like every single day coz i no longer want to give people out there a chance to hurt myself esteem... hazlin pointed out my self worth i and i am not going to compromise on that matter anymore... but i still cant help yet to feel insecure at certain times... climbing these stairs alone is hard and lonely and yeah i mean i have not been completely out of job yet.. but the thing is that i dont really feel the safety net being there and i dont like this empty feeling of being on the edge of danger... i know i know it does not help yet to feel insecure... jesus i think i just needed to bitch i guess... there are certain habits that i have to quit and i am sure that i have to do that soon... arghhh i hate myself for not being strong... he gave me this chance and why the fuck am i fucking it up.... i have to be strong... i have too.. today will be my last draw.. yes i cant keep saying it and not doing it.. today shall be my last draw..i need to make this ramadan meaningful.... please help me today shall be my last draw...

more pictures

me in the pool after being thrown in by the kids
jue and me hosting on stage i love my baju
jue, shikin and me back stage
yeah its dunking time
wendy, mee rong, jia kang, ah tuck and me just chilling

yeah, finally more pictures. thank you chris. yup we had soo much fun at the grand finals... i loved my top from philosophy and jue's outfit comes from salabianca. thank you guys... then of course after the finals we had to have a nice closing for the whole competition for the kids so event plus a.k.a Mr Alan Thoo came with organized a nice "wet" afternoon for the kids and us and yes they threw me into the pool... yup dont need a rocket scientist to figure that bit out. . we all got wet ... ahhh 1 week with no work... humm enjoying time off but at the same time the workerholic in me craves to work and craves to earn more hahahahahaha not my fault that one of my weaknesses is of course greed. but yeah gonna try my level best to chill bit more and then roughly next week another power packed week to comeok all i am now gonna take a nice nap as i have to attend the preview for in 1957 MERDEKA!! MERDEKA!! MERDEKA!!!

long time no see

sarawak cultural village post rainforest music fest

the munchkins sending me off to the airport
farins wedding in johor recently picture of ma and me
sri and me clubbing in penang
the fairy wells or the 7 wells in langkawi

my oh my look how time flies .. and yes i know i have sinned as i have not post anything on this page for like ages and ages long hahahahaha yes i have finally found my breathing space for the time being...i cant count how lucky i am being able to capture priceless moments and travel to places that i never would have imagined i would step on and see things and experience life on a level that is just soo alive.... the amount of points that i have accumulate on my enrich card is just like wow and all that was just done within the 3 months that i have been in DCT ..the aknowlagement ... someone once told me that i have to know myself worth and it felt strange and akward at first coz it felt as if i was putting on airs but then i came to realise that its not airs bbut that is how much i am worth and why i shouldnt at anytime look down on myself anymore...i believe that why HE has always been there for me is to show me what i am really worth ... thank you.... these 3 months would always be with me ... i am slowing my pace for the time being as i believe that HE has something bigger installed for me thus i shall wait and see... ok guys i am gonna take a rest now and shall try to catch up with you all soon..

baki zainal

the original digicelebriteen team..

the original digicelebriteen team. the good old days infact they have been the best not saying that this bunch is not they are all great people but the at the same time miss all the guys alot man... came across this picture on my friendster and decided that it needs to be put in a more suitable place where else better than here close to my heart...

travel travel

potato n me in kuantan
jace n me in kuantan
wendy, jace and me traveling back
trust a mcd... kuantan

well more photo of my travels i have just receive this lot from jace... ok i have another complex now actually not even a complex i am just in love with chinese songs now... yes i am listening to a few really soppy ones as i am typing hahahahaa yes yes...thanks to wendy or yik boon to have supplied me with the songs ahhh i am just happy to listen to them actually their not really happy tunes infact its very sad.. but i guess it suits my state of mind to be honest ... anyways have to continue my script or shall i say start my script.. after one fag and i am roaring to goo... nite all.

star struck

ok i know i owe the blog an entry bout the rain forest fest but then that could wait.. my experience tonite cant... i was at the A party to cover the digicelebriteen kids but then i had to do my normal duty of interviewing peopple and guess what besides miggling with big names in the chinese singing industry like joey, victor, i had the chance to meet up with GARY CHAW yes my friend the guy that sang the chinese version of superwomen and also superman... dude was really humble and he was soo much fun... it was just surreal as he is a league soo far away from me and here i was standing there next to him sharing some moments and then i had the chance to interview him in perfect english.... i told him a was star struck and he was just soo humble... i am not gonna wash my hands for the next few weeks coz that hand shaked gary's... ok next entree i promise would be bout rainforest fest and my experience of sarawak,,,

sarawak

my princess
see you in sarawak
recording time


ok.. i am now in sarawak... it feels like a foreign land man... its soo laid back... my idea of going to BAKO had to be postpone as i had to fly back to kl yesterday but that not going to come in between me and the rainforest music fest man... i shall be going no matter what... its kinda funny having to fly in and out... hahahahahaaha feels like im jet setting here and there... shall try to meet up with farin here in kuching... it would be soo wrong man if i miss out in meeting him here...anyways... i miss kl and miss family but then hey i have to keep strong and go for it.. my future shall be my first goal now... but then hummm... ok im not going down that road again... well have soo much work to do... i dont even know if i could do the play anymore... infact for all our benefits i might just have to drop it now and get things on the roll and not let the others wait for me... its really not fair....ok then i have got to go now... have someother major stuff to finish... my god even in a hotel room i dont have time... hahahahahahahahaah

ikan kering

i wanted to post this picture up on my blog like soo long ago but i did not have the time and at the same time i did not have my laptop with me... for reasons that i shall not state on the blog... this picture and infact all the preety pictures that looks bit artistic comes from a penang lad by the name of adrian...... thanks mate..... thsi was taken by the beach off beserah and it was actually my off day which i took with much stride... i fell asleep on the beach and tadahhhhh the next thing i know adrian took this lovely picture....
thsi whole month or soo hs been scuch a roller coaster ride for me... the ups and downs mostly ups compared to downs have been really good but now i would have to start planning for the months to come... see what shall i do... see you in kuching DCT

see ya adrian...we'll miss you

rich, me, adrian aka potato, jace and wendy
twin towers, jules and me

last weekened was DCT northern region 2 finals and also adrians and Hong Ren last working day with us on DCT... i'll miss these guys ... the mere two month of working together was just really special as we all had to travel on long terms with each other around peninsular malaysia.. the jokes we share and the stress actually there were not that many compared to the other productions that i have worked along side with .... made all of us wiser and closer as the days evolved .... i guess i dont just say this on my own account but also on behalf of DCT 2007 production team we love you and you shall be miss.

its hard ....

well well well some habits are hard to kill really... this week has been full of bad habits being it material or emotional.... and i know that i would need to kill off some of them but why am i soo stubborn ... why do i not listen to my innerself? why is it that i would need to wait till i fall flat on my face? arghhh baki your soo stupid.....
i know i am not suppouse to believe in ju ju but heck i do and i know most of these bad habits brings bad juju... and for the past week or so i have been surrounded with bad juju... but i guess i am lucky in some sence that i have soo many lovely people to get me up and bring me fourth ... i am blessed in many matters and i have HIM to thank.... .... HE has been there for me... i kinda feel HIS help but i have to start helping myself in many ways and i have to stop sitting on my ass and DO SOMETHING bout it

empty

i have soo much to say and but i cant find the words to say it......

The Journey

berlari ke langit
ah tuck and me

the journey took me to many places... many different emotions felt... many different people meet.... it is one experience that i will one day look back at and say i never regreted a single moment of it... im half way thru the journey ... i have few more places to go .... and with GODs will... it would be a great one too.

21 jalan pinang

ah tuck n me infront of garage
too much to drink guys
kang kang n me on the streets of penang

hahahaha penang trip has been really hectic not much time wasted as there was really an amazing turn out for the auditions..... but that did not stop me from still going out for a night cap.... it was arrons birthday and this chinese dud just turned 21 that nite and he is still a virgin... jeng jeng jegn so guess who was given the honour to change him to a man at least a drunkard.... no other than baki zainal.... hahahahaha

i hate to pack

why why do i have to pack.... i hate packing i really do.. eventhou its just a 3 days thing in penan g but then i still have to pack for it and i never can pack lite.... how to be on globe trecker like that aduhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............ still have to pack wish me luck see you guys in penang...

happy happy people

dont ask me why i picked this picture... i am not hyped like any of them currently... i am not sad but i am just not hyped ... infact currently i am trying to bore myself to sleep... yes i am just too tired from the power pack week that i had last week and also the whole idea that i am off again to penang very soon... but heck im enjoying it really...
the picture seems to have such an irritating effect... everyone is just soo happy.. but looking at this picture i cant help but to remember my lovely and wonderful crew... they are brilliant, wonderful and sweet people... i have nothing bad to say bout them really... and i cant imagine anyone having anything bad to say bout them at all really...
ok im gonna try what the others have been doing on their blogs by giving people names just by calling them with the first innitials in their name.. ok here goes, i meet J today for lunch then J told me that H, F and F were bitching bout J ... ok i dont know how to do this.... i must get lessons from sums and fara.. they seem to be experts in this matter.... ohhh my....
im starting to get sleepy so i guess thats a possitive sign... soon i shall fall asleep ... i have an early day tomorrow ... meeting up with aziz m.osman's productions tomorrow... aite babes wish me luck....

ipoh-ipoh

Ok ... i know i know this sounds like a sin ... i should not be falling in love with ipoh ... but currently i cant help it ..... i mean i am not going all yaya about it bout some where there i liked it ... i guess its the crowd and of course the people that i meet, the places that i chilled at and the new experience that i gained ... well the spa was one not to forget hahahaha .... thank god the guys were there with me ... it was like something that came out from a bad 80's hongkie gangster flick ... ahahahahaha as ah tuck said all we need now are tatoo's hahahahaha .... the feeling of being there was just weird .... it was "clean" fun but with a hummm naughty pinch to it...
drinking buddies made and found ..... richard with his teh tarik and PS with her chocolate blended ...... ohh ohh going to do a bit of sales pitch here... situated somewhere in Greentown Ipoh, theres this nice little place called 'Shayo De Vin'.... it is stocked with a wide exstensive range of beers, liquor, spirit and wines.... according to some very realible source it is so much cheaper than KL( of course it is everywhere is... opppsssss i tell a lie. Johore) the music that they play there is just right... from the 60's to the 80's hahahahaha... we hanged there 2 nites in a row... it felt really good having friends around chatting away while sipping on port... hahahahhaha ok thats enough descriptions hahahahaha...
well alls well that end well.... ipoh was just great ... making a pit stop at home..
nite babes

ipoh

up in bed in the midst of ipoh... recalling all that is done within this past week... humm its remarkable really... i have always felt that this is the life that i would want to lead and no doubt about it really... it is the life that i want to lead... but sometimes i wonder if im cut for it...
an industry where the physical being means more than interlect or even heart... sometimes when reality bites and knowing that you ae somehow not good enough one way or the other is a sad manner.... but i would just have to be strong and go on........
the subject of being A-list kept coming up... i know i am never A-list... infact i dont really care if i am or not.... i just want to survive and that means most.....
hahahahaha come to think of it i am staying in this famous chicken hotel in ipoh and they have wifi.... fuyoooh

alone

What would i do without this thing... the voice that i would never have... a place where i could just be myself and spill my hearts worth... so what if its not brain empowering ... screw that, the most important thing for me is that i can breath and i can paint this page with what and how i feel....
I know im sounding drama again... not something new to my friends ... but i do feel that i am loosing a part of myself again.... why is he so important to me? why?..... why cant i just ignore it and just let him float his way.... why? ... as i type my chest becomes so heavy.....
Why does it seem so hard to detach myself ... being truthful and telling him that.. gave him the power over me... for these years he was the brother that i never had... but now i guess all good things has to come to an end.... he no longer needs me... he has found a firmer ground to stand on with new people to hold his hands... why cant i see that... actually i see it clearly... very clear.. but why do i still bother... i am not needed on his cloud anymore... he might not even have space for me anymore..... i have found so many excusses for this .... but i guess i just cant let go and i dont want to let go... i love him dearly.... but letting go just seems the out most natural thing to do..... please help me thru this.... it hurts and im alone... the room is always full and yet i am alone....