Thursday, November 30, 2006

i have found my new santuary

just now abg og, kak dina and me went and visited my castle mandalay... thats what i am gonna name it for the time being.. i know its a bit premature coz its not mine yet.. soon to come it shall be mine .. it shall insyaallah if god permits and i hope he does..its just so regal standing there waiting for me to get it and develope it... hahahaha ironic isnt it... yeah but soon i shall take the needed measures to get it... i can imagine once its mine and i have done it shall be a distint killer... i mean diffenitely it is gonna take alot out of me but hey doesnt all good things do that.. i finally caught The Red Kebaya.. im really sorry to say this but i didnt really enjoy it.. i dont know i guess its because of the acting .. i mean among all i would have to say kudos to jo kukathas, samantha, bob, soon heng and of course fauziah nawi who i felt stole the show but the others was just dissapointing.. but i guess its not for me to say anything i guess...i mean who am i to comment on the acting...i guess these people would know much more than me as hey they have been in the industry way longer than i have but then yeah i shall say that my rm10 is just there to support the local movie industry.. and its been sometime since i saw stuart payne.. but yeah its good to see you again my fren... anyways here i am in starbucks waiting for nthye two little dunggus to finish their kummon.. i love that 2 kuchi brats i really do... im trying to cut down on my ciggi....see how far i can go or shall in say how long i could go with out it...wish me luck

Friday, November 24, 2006

i am free

it feels so liberating that i do not need to walk tip toed as if this road of mine is path with a thousand small pieces of egg shells all waiting just to break as i step onto it anymore.. today i set things straight.. i finally managed to take a breather.. its so liberating....
it was also music to my ear to hear that i have been not even sad that it ended this way..
i am now on this quest and on this journey that might just make me or break me.. i would definately squel and shout and run towards the mountain as i embrace this reality but then i guess thats where family comes in, people that i care about.. people that would be there standing and hold out their hands when they see me falling.. its hard to find people like that these days.. the ones that i still have i keep near my heart the ones that changed i cant do much to salvage that as there is just soo much that one could do.. i miss you and i guess you know who you are.. as your not the same person i know before and the oath that you once took which now you choose to break,, i forgive you...i guess i am at fault too.. its funny that idealistic world we choose to create. i'll stand back and smile just as long as you are happy, then i shall be happy too..
i guess its no turning back now.. no matter what people say this is my path..
i choose.. and this is the road and path that i shall take..

Monday, November 20, 2006

Post paid DiGi

ola... its 2.30pm monday and i am at home currently just woken up, had a lovely lunch and now checking my mail and updating my blog... what is it that is missing? i am not in the office... ahahahahahah yeap..i decided to take the day off as it has been a real taxing weekend last week and i dont think i am ready to face the office today... the DiGi event went off quite well i shall say..infact i would say i had a good time planning for the event and even so with all the stress that i had to go thru i still had a lot of fun and i learned a few tricks of the industry.
humm.. currently i am looking for other jobs.. hahahaha yup.. its that time again.. there are a few options that i am looking into. 1, newsreader. 2.script writer. 3, outdoor facilitator. i dont know i might just try the script writting thing. i want to do something which is in KL so that i could still host Bid 2 Win. infact i would realy want to see Bid 2 Win go to the next level with me on board. i enjoy doing it and at the same time i know i do it very well i guess that is where my flair is honestly in hosting and in acting.. hwo am i kidding? i was born to do it.. but at the same time i know that i have what it takes to run events.. very contradicting aint it... hahahaha i know for sure far reads this she is gonna start shaking her head hahahahahaha (God bless her sweet soul)
there was a period of time that i keep thinking to myself that i am really screwd up and that i would not be successful at all but then after much pondering i kinda figured i am meant to be this way as i am not made for the whole corporate world. my world is a colorful world and eventhou sometimes i decide to paint it grey but then i now make a vow never to stop painting it with different colors everyday.

Monday, November 13, 2006

it ends tonite

im currently stuck with the song.. man its like reality coming too soon.. humm.. i dont know its like sometimes i just feel that im just alone.. and that this bubble that i have around me is just gonna burst anytime soon...
its not logical, is it? but sometimes i guess things dont need to be logical anymore.. i admit its my mistake to actually consider everything on the logical side that i forget bout the emotional content.
but i guess its never too late is it to realise now that what i recently picked up to belive is not all that true..
i dont know frenship on the line.. work... art... i guess the one thing that i could currently be sure of that would not change would only be my families love towards me.. everything else is highly questionable.. its funny how you think that you think you know a certain person or loved one for ions but then there comes a day that you automaticlly changeble..
Question is would it end tonite? or am i letting it end tonite.. at times i dont want to close my eyes coz it might just end..........