Friday, September 28, 2007


man oh man ... this week has been a very bad week.. first i kinda lost a job ... then i lost a parking ticket which i then found again in the car... and tonite kinda topped the cherry on the surface.. i met up with an accident.. yes, i crashed into another car...ok, 1st of all i would have to say that its not really my fault as 1. i was not on the phone
2i was not speeding,
3, i was focused
what happened was that 3 cars infront of me went on emergency break as they were coming down a slop and i was right behind the last car. then after breaking the car slided down the slop and yes i bangged the car infront of me.. only that the car infront of me was not damaged as he only has like a few calar here but the car that i was driving which was abg ein's car kinda really am in bad condition as half of the front part was just smashed into half.. yes.. that was how it was..
Far and clyde came to my rescue before mama and kak anja arrived and they saw me thru the whole making of the police report and then to the workshop and all.. thanks guys . and so now i kinda like wondering is it a signal from Him did i do something wrong which i think i did... but what ever it is i am going to take it as a warning from Him that i should not just take His gifts for granted and be thankful and show Him my gratitude.. ok guys thats enough for tonight i need to calm myself i shall see you all soon. thanks ya.

Friday, September 21, 2007

odd feel

ok i dont know why am i feeling this way or like why even so am i doing this... today i got some bad news bot some stuff relating to celebriteens.. now i know i should not be fazed about it but yeah it kinda got me into thinking if that moment is actually arriving and if that its means that i used up my time... humm ok that sounds odd and confusing.. anyways recently it has kinda sorta been a slow month for me.. yes i know both geetha and diana are doing their exstream level best to get me out there... ohh by the way im now officially a celebrity fitness member thanks to Geet hurray and i have been going to the gym like every single day coz i no longer want to give people out there a chance to hurt myself esteem... hazlin pointed out my self worth i and i am not going to compromise on that matter anymore... but i still cant help yet to feel insecure at certain times... climbing these stairs alone is hard and lonely and yeah i mean i have not been completely out of job yet.. but the thing is that i dont really feel the safety net being there and i dont like this empty feeling of being on the edge of danger... i know i know it does not help yet to feel insecure... jesus i think i just needed to bitch i guess... there are certain habits that i have to quit and i am sure that i have to do that soon... arghhh i hate myself for not being strong... he gave me this chance and why the fuck am i fucking it up.... i have to be strong... i have too.. today will be my last draw.. yes i cant keep saying it and not doing it.. today shall be my last draw..i need to make this ramadan meaningful.... please help me today shall be my last draw...

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

more pictures

me in the pool after being thrown in by the kids
jue and me hosting on stage i love my baju
jue, shikin and me back stage
yeah its dunking time
wendy, mee rong, jia kang, ah tuck and me just chilling

yeah, finally more pictures. thank you chris. yup we had soo much fun at the grand finals... i loved my top from philosophy and jue's outfit comes from salabianca. thank you guys... then of course after the finals we had to have a nice closing for the whole competition for the kids so event plus a.k.a Mr Alan Thoo came with organized a nice "wet" afternoon for the kids and us and yes they threw me into the pool... yup dont need a rocket scientist to figure that bit out. . we all got wet ... ahhh 1 week with no work... humm enjoying time off but at the same time the workerholic in me craves to work and craves to earn more hahahahahaha not my fault that one of my weaknesses is of course greed. but yeah gonna try my level best to chill bit more and then roughly next week another power packed week to comeok all i am now gonna take a nice nap as i have to attend the preview for in 1957 MERDEKA!! MERDEKA!! MERDEKA!!!

Sunday, September 02, 2007

long time no see

sarawak cultural village post rainforest music fest

the munchkins sending me off to the airport
farins wedding in johor recently picture of ma and me
sri and me clubbing in penang
the fairy wells or the 7 wells in langkawi

my oh my look how time flies .. and yes i know i have sinned as i have not post anything on this page for like ages and ages long hahahahaha yes i have finally found my breathing space for the time being...i cant count how lucky i am being able to capture priceless moments and travel to places that i never would have imagined i would step on and see things and experience life on a level that is just soo alive.... the amount of points that i have accumulate on my enrich card is just like wow and all that was just done within the 3 months that i have been in DCT ..the aknowlagement ... someone once told me that i have to know myself worth and it felt strange and akward at first coz it felt as if i was putting on airs but then i came to realise that its not airs bbut that is how much i am worth and why i shouldnt at anytime look down on myself anymore...i believe that why HE has always been there for me is to show me what i am really worth ... thank you.... these 3 months would always be with me ... i am slowing my pace for the time being as i believe that HE has something bigger installed for me thus i shall wait and see... ok guys i am gonna take a rest now and shall try to catch up with you all soon..

baki zainal