finally im back in my own room, on my own bed.... it feels soo much better now rather than having a hotel room.. not that i complain... but finally the end of my 5 days misery staying down in jb..
i kinda feel bad... i had a day off in jb and i didnt go and visit my aunt.... why oh why and yet i spent that day lingering around and trying to find a purpose and something to do in town (which at the rate that things are going in jb there was nothing)
when i was walking down the roads of JB town trying to recall sweet memories .... it was kinda odd that rather than feeling joy and happy at the development i felt sad and hollow... the jb that i know and loved has lost its spirit and has lost its energy.... it is growing fast... shops of different kinds growing here and there ... but yet besides all this consumerisme ... nothing else seems to make sense... the people no longer seemed to matter ... the vadeei uncle is still alive( god bless his sweet soul) not forgeting to throw in a few extra vadeei when ever i buy some from him...
when i traced back my tracks.... images of the old me growing up in jb came back... images of mama bringing me up alone seemed so close.... images of those happy days with papa were visible... i missed those days... i missed having a family unit.... i didnt want to go back to papa's house coz i dont really know if i could take it.... knowing that he is no longer there waiting on his chair for his son to come home from school... knowing that he wont be there to pass me my breakfast in the morning that he has made so that his son would not be hungry in school.... my papa is now just my memory.... im too caught up with this life that i forget.... maybe one day i shall be strong enough to return and pay homage....
till that day comes i shall wait and i shall miss....
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