its a lonely road "traveling" .. Baki Zainal
Baki Zainal loves the sand, sea and his solitary moments enjoying both
Penat sungguh.. i just got back in from a launch in Triang Besar, Mersing.. alhamdullilah .. and today i really feel very tired, jaded and sucked out of all my energizer battery fluid.. after a nice warm shower here i am sitting in front of baby jane just penning down whatever that crosses my mind at this current moment..
to be precise tonite's entree is not mainly just my verbal rantings on life.. no. i have a clear message i guess that i want to share without being verbal with myself.. i know I'm weird but yeah i do talk to myself to keep myself sane at times..
you see recently a few incidents that happened to me leads me to this entree.. i would save you from the incident for a sure fact i want to save myself from remembering .. but neither the less i walk away learning something.. i used to constantly create the same mistake all over again which is to take people, things around me for granted and focus on people that do not really share the same feelings of important as i am to them as they are to me or even important things around me that has helped me get thru times of difficulty and honestly now i still create the same mistake all over again...you see i am a constant believer that one should put an equal effort in things that they do, relationships be it friendship, lovers, siblings or parental cause when it gets one sided its really tiring..little gestures like a warm hug, a message wishing a good day ahead, a warm smile as a gesture of assurance or even time off as to get away for a one to one session over a pint is worth more than spending hundreds of dollars or throwing big fan fare parties.. when things don't seem right we tend to ask what is it that we have done wrong this time (with a strong sense of annoyance in our hearts) but when we ask this question the answer lies in the question itself. its not what we have done wrong in fact we didn't do anything and that's where the trouble lays its the straight matter that we "didn't do anything"..
i wanna apologize to people that matters to me as i am busy chasing after a dream i neglect those around me that matters, those who has been there and has been a part of my life. my pillar of sanity. my focus of attention hits a blind spot.. recently i caught up with Sharen and Sue and for that instance i felt the familiar warm, genuine and tender love that they have always had for me.. there was no sense of jealousy no threats.. in fact i would safely say they would have treated me the same now and ten years ago... i owe so many people my time and i promise you i shall fulfill that promise of mine Hazlin and Zeeka your on top of my list.. how i miss you girls..
its the same when i comes to going green and saving our mother earth i repeatedly say one day we shall lose it all if we don't do that "something" is keeping it green and safe for all of us to stay in..
we easily get blinded and distracted by people and new shiny items around us and the hard part if to stay focus but i guess the answer to this is that we have to love unconditionally ... I'm jaded .... in order to move forward i shall have to learn to stop focusing my energy on things,time and people that would not sacrifice as i do...
i know its kinda morbid for me to be writing this down on paper but then recent incidents woke me up...
i dedicate this piece to Abang Din Beramboi, who has recently answered the call of God.. Bang, adik akan pegang kata kata abang.. semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat keatas roh mu.. Malaysia has once more lost a diamond.....