You see last year before the stroke of midnight we sat down and listed out what our goals for 2009 would be… Alhamdullilah I have made a few of mine come true. I wont list them down now as there is still a few more days to go… but amidst my wanting to achieve these goals of mine now seated down in front of this lap top I can’t remember the process and the lessons I learned. I am feeling a sense of remorse now as for I believe that life should be a learning curve and each inch of it comes with a lesson…. I hate to admit it but I got lost somewhere in between my goals and me… my kor likes to call this the “broken link” (I can so see the smirk on his face if he reads this but I guess I would just have to let him have that smile). Its ironic how just a week ago my kor was going on about the broken link to his beloved Leo club members and now here I am worldly, as I like to believe I am affected by his talk…
This posting might offend some people so before hand I baki zainal would like to apologize… Tonight I want to pay tribute to a few people that have indirectly taught, inspire me this year.
1. Alan Thoo @ Mr Manager @ My 哥哥
“I never knew I would be able to inspire and touch people by just being myself”. This was exact word that came from this man. You see, 3 years ago I would never have imagine that I would be typing these words out. You either loathe him or you love him. I chose to respect and love this person. And the lesson I learned from him is Passion. His passion to lead and guide the people around him to pursue in being the best they could ever possibly be, even so his techniques at times can be misunderstood as being a bit non radical but the ending would always stress on an individuals growth in being the best they could be. He told me tonight as he has never imagined or planned in managing me full time this time last year but I am glad he did, I thank him for having faith in me and believing in me and the passion in seeing one achieve greatness Is what I thank him for... many fail to see that kind heart underneath that hard exterior. But once you get to know him better you’ll find out what I am talking about. I would not say he is perfect; he does have his flaws like any of us
(Dude can be really impatient like seriously but look who is talking) but then his quality is what makes him a gem.
There are times where we would banter and argue on certain issues pertaining to work or life and my respect grows day by day on how this person would at times take a step back to see the picture and agree or deal a compromise to the issues. It might seem easy but I don’t think I would be able to do so yet alone for a man who can have anything his way. This to me makes him the bigger man. I can tell you one thing both of us are hot headed. Both stubborn. But then his ability to see logic makes me respect him more... his ability to trust and accept me for all that I am and all that I could be. There are many of a time that we sit planning to build that castle in the sky, visualizing each brick, each tower, each bridge and dungeons (mainly for Simon to manage) and I somewhat know that I am safe having a fine architect, town planner and above all dreamer as my kor kor on my team. Many of times I take a step back and wink towards the sky as I thank Him for planning my path as to cross my kor’s path.
I type as how I think so I apologize if this entry is giving you a migraine.
2. Mohd Faszwi Ibrahim @ Abang Ogy @ Captain Faszwi
I joke on how my abang ogy is going thru mid life crisis, on how within a few days a Superbike and a new car is parked in our driveway. But I had to hold back my tears during his 40th birthday speech. Family and togetherness is what I learned from him. This year marks my 11th year staying underneath the same roof as my abang ogy. His ability to relentlessly guide and love us is something I bow towards. I use to not understand why is it that he works so hard in pulling and keeping all of us together when each of us are going thru our growing pains as adults having different directions in life. But after a while I saw the picture from his eyes and how priceless and how important it is to be a family. Nothing beats having the support of your own family members. We do have our fights and disagreement but we stand together when the going gets hard... we stand to be each other’s pillars. I believe in his cause and I promise I shall carry on with it.
3. Zenny Lyn, Azizi Zakaria, Saban
“I wanna be on top” determination is the lesson learned.
I remembered describing Zenny as princess Fiona from shrek the first time ever I laid my eyes on this girl but she determined to prove everyone wrong. Swallowed criticism, she swallowed people calling her names, she swallowed rejection. All she had inside was determination and a belief that one day she would be the best that she could be and as I am typing these words Zenny is slowly transforming into the swan that she is meant to be.
Having to spend his crucial teenage life away from home learning and picking up the industry Azizi does not stop but to amaze me. A small time kampong boy who is not afraid to dream brings back so much memories.
“I just want to sing abang”. A true talented voice that just wants to perform having to find his standing in this unforgiving industry, tripping over hurdles and learning to swallow the pain and hardship that comes with it and yet never giving up that one day he will shine is how I describe Saban.
And all I could say about these 3 individuals is they are determined and every time I sigh, I remind myself on what they are going thru and I stand back up.
4. Zainah Bte Hassan @ Mama & Zabeha Hassan @Mak Long
You see I have heard somewhere before “loving and liking is 2 different things” one can love without liking, but its hard to like without loving. Mama and Mak Long taught me unconditioned love... im tearing while I try to type this lesson. Their ability to give each one of us love and guidance is something I pray I would be able to learn. And it saddens me that I might one day loose them.
5. Sharon Saw @ Ah 姐, Suraya Abdul Wahab @ Queenie
We each live different life. Our work, our aims, our principals etc but one thing that makes our relationship so beautiful is lesson number 5 Acceptance.
I knew Sharon and Sue 11 years ago and 11 years ago I knew what we have is a very special bond that would be just too difficult to crush. Sharon is a burst of colors, life and energy. Some would call that loud and trust me if you’re not used to her way at looking at things you would say she is one hell of a cannonball. Sue on the other hand is slowly phased, contempt and has a totally different approach to life and her surroundings. They are the total opposite of the other but they attract and stand firm on each other’s support. Throw in the drama king whose life at times can be chapters of different tales of wonderment makes this friendship a countless bond of tears, joy and hallmark greetings... they taught me how to accept people and things in life. Sometimes we keep away from things and situations that are foreign to us. We build this so call wall of higher judgment or moral which in fairness is just a cowering tower of ignorance. I’ve decided to stop contributing bricks to that wall and lay a stronger foundation in supporting my friends and being there whenever they need me emotionally if cant physically. I accept them and in return they accept me.
6. The final lesson I learned this year is to “live”. I admit that I can be OCD at times that I forget how it feels to live and the pleasure of just letting go and being. Incidents and people around me taught me this lesson. Life is just to short in freighting about the small specks. Focusing on the bigger picture makes life a smoother sail. We have lost so many beautiful people this year and 1 thing these people have in common is that they lived their life believing in painting a more colorful united picture.
Honestly this year I would have to say has contributed in my growth as a human being, as a person, as an artiste, as a son, as a brother and as a follower of His belief. I can’t imagine having to be on my deathbed and not understanding or have learned any of the lessons above.
So to all these people above I would like to say thank you from the very bottom of my heart. Thank you for teaching me such valuable lessons that no textbook would be able to teach. To all of you I bow.