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ok you know what i am not going to try and act smart and write on about life and its whole mistery coz currently my brains are dead and i am sure nothing smart nor interesting would come out of it. trust me.
just now i attended a PC for teman and it was really odd seeing this program that is half your baby and how now its growing and that all you could do is just stand back and smile and look at it grow without wanting to be there in the limelight being recognize for it... hummmm... is that not interesting or what... i wish those 2 girls all the best and hope that with this program it jump starts their career....
i guess the saying is right you have to wait for that moment... if that moment is yours then even how far they go you would still be able to catch it. but so if its not yours then heck eventhou its smack in your face you would not recognize it... i dont knw what im typing about..
ohh ya... i made it thru valentines with no scare this time... hurray for me!!!!! i kinda like knew that i would recover but this time around it was extra fast and the best part about it is that i dont need to go on and sulk... i just brave thru it...i guess thats what you have got to do to survive the whole feeling of not having that someone next to you... humm come to think about it, it was kinda funny the way that i was sure that this time around i found someone to share my feelings with someone who could wake that person in me again.. what was i thinking come on.... on a 19 year old... huhhh i dont think she even knew what she wanted in the first place... i dont blame her i sorta didnt know what i want when i was 19 infact i still dont know what i want but i dont go around breaking hearts(or did i)... but i wasnt being a good BF too... i understand at her age being in a relationship is like one of those hallmark moments where its all flowery and you get to see each other every single moment but then thats not the case for me in this relationship...why am i calling it a relationship in the first place it isnt a relationship( a relationship is when 2 people who get together and makes and effort and fight for being together... something we were lacking or shall i say i was lacking i guess.) the silly part of it all was this feeling in me that hoped and wanted to make it work...what was i thinking...hahahaha i never think thats the problem i guess... i somewhat knew that she really wanted out but then that silly part of me was trying to blind my logic and shelter me from the rejection( how can it be rejection she asked, i agreed, she wants out, i agreed) ....ohhh well there was not much for me to say when the answer that came was just plain hard facts that i know i could not bend..