Yeah, finally an afternoon to myself and I have an hour to burn and try to come up with the rite words to actually describe how have I been feeling lately specially for the past weekend. Ok where do we start? Hummmmm… (I think it’s my favorite phrase currently).
Well, I guess it all started with me resigning from a group of people that I have tremendous respect and love towards who I have been with for the past 3 years in pursuing our love for a craft that we like to call art. It was a really hard decision to make but then I somewhat knew that the shots had to be called and at the end of the day delaying it would not do anyone any good specially me. sometimes even how it sucks, we somewhat or the other have to make some really selfish decisions and sacrifices in order to be able to survive this harsh world and when we come to that cross road certain priorities have to be taken account. Which goes first and which is least important (that does not sound rite but yeah it’s like which one comes at a higher priority compared to the other) and then the decision would come while you bite your lips and know that it sucks. But hell life still goes on. It does not mean that i'm giving up my craft all together it just means that one day we shall meet again.
I guess you guys have read about the episode that I got a job with this company that I shall leave anonymous. Well what happened was that a day prior to me starting work, I was in ulu klang helping my aunt out as she had to move out from the slums(its one of the mysteries of the world the old lady has a fine brick house in shah alam and she still insist in staying in the slums. Go figure) well anyways the government wanted to take back the land so then she had to evacuate. As I was helping her out I received a phone call from a TV station (I shall leave it anonymous too) and this chap conducted a phone interview session with me after so that he wanted to see me for further discussion and I had to explain my current condition (to be honest I was not looking forward for the initial job) and he said to me to come and see him that instant. Now imagine this I was helping my aunt out carrying stuff so just picture the scene I was in my torn jeans, t-shirt and of course hair that would have made Ronald McDonald proud. So then I had to explain how I had to go home and change and all he said was that grab a jacket and be there. So here I was frantic and trying to find a good solution to solve the matter so that it would be a both win-win situation. So then alhamdullilah. farin was back from kuching and he could meet up with me in OU to pass me a jacket. So I apologized to my aunt grab a cab and headed to OU to get my hair done within 15 min and by 5pm I was in his office for the interview and after say 3 hours of interview with him and the CEO. I was let to go home. So the next day while I was on the way to my 1st day of work which was at 7am I text my soon to be boss to find out what was my fate as I appreciated if I had a chance then I would definitely gave up the 1st job and the answer I received was a counter offer from them and I said yes so now I am bound on my journey with the TV channel as cooperate communications officer. I know that he is up there listening.
So with all these going on I managed to have a few really meaningful conversations and discussions and an experimental show (kudos to 5arts) that challenged my intellect and got me thinking about a lot of stuff. In fact there was this incident that actually happened yesterday that was actually an opera moment where I had a simple discussion with a dear friend (god bless her soul) which was miss interpreted that she felt I was being depressed and so the concerned raised but as I explained to her that I was just thinking and viewing it not from the popes balcony she then (I hope) was rest assured that I was ok. But in a way it was a reassurance that there is still something called sincerity in this world. And so it is easier to sleep at night knowing that there is still glimpse of hope out there.
What I am trying to say is that if you pray hard enough and believe in HIM how he believes in you and put the effort needed then by all means HE shall listen and HE shall grant it as HE is the most merciful, gracious and forgiving. When you feel that HE had fail you trust in HIM as he has not. HE is there seeing and testing if you are strong enough and if you forsaken HIM. As HE shall never forsaken you. I am not worthy of HIM but he has never let me drown. Insyaallah I am still grasping and looking for the way to HIS path.
It is a new beginning and a new chapter in my life. Sometimes scary and sometimes exciting. I don’t know if saying that I am looking forward towards it would be a jinx but at the end of it all I know it would be different and there would always be its ups and downs whether I am ready or not it would in a way or the other hit me. would I then run from it or would I take it in my stride, it is a question that I shall not answer now and leave open as sometimes putting your word on a certain issue is not as easy as it seems as for definite you would be open to attacks from all sides but heck let them come and I shall face them as graceful as HE allows me.