papa's house

this entry is a special entry for me and might just be the last entry that i write about ssomething very close to my heart and something from my past.. my papa's house..
i still remembered when papa wanted that house as he wanted us to have a bigger piece of lawn (which knowing papa later was fenced up for security reason.. believe me i grew up in fort knox ok so really if you think that you grew up in a prison please think twice hahahahaha but it was no prison to me.. i felt safe in papa's house..) the memories that i had in that house.. until today i could still remember my father would sit on his favorite chair every day at noon waiting for his son to come home from school as he knows precisely what time i would be walking into the front gate... as i walk thru he would then ask how had my day been, after answering him he would then usher me off to have lunch and rest..
how about the times where my papa would be watering his plants, he loved his plants specially his orchids.. his prized possessions... or when he was really crossed with me for taking his money to spend at the school canteen day without asking his permission... those were happy days spent in papa's house then of course came the days where mama and i mourned at papa's death in those dark hours spent in that house..
those moments i can never relate to anyone else as its mine to keep even so now i have decided to let my fathers house go.. it is now on the market as i am selling it off... the condition of it torn, worn out, crumbling into pieces that i have never imagined possible.. my papa's house.. once stood tall and yet now crumbling.... i do not have the heart to do so but at the same time i have not the will to continue...
i am letting go of papa's house.. it does not mean that i am letting go of my papa's memories.. he knows what i am going thru and i know that he stands next to me in this decision.. i lovee you pa....